Been Slacking Off and have to Change

I haven’t been posting lately as you can see. I’ve run a few things through my mind thinking about it but just didn’t get up and write it down. There’s been a lot of politics going on. Then I’ve been watching a lot of videos also and could be writing about the videos I’ve seen. Been trying to figure out Doctor Who and Torchwood which seems like a popular show. I guess Doctor Who have been going for many years. Really have a hard time translating English in to English. It’s like listening to Elmer Fudd talk for hours. Like they are talking with a mouth full of marbles. The blonde really plays stupid well. Wonder if the frumpy blonde is like that in real life. I just don’t find them very good to the story when they go out of their way to be so stupid.

Been real dry here and everything not watered is turning brown. Almost have the new leg of the sprinklers finished being installed. I just have the valve area to finish. Need to beat down the stepping stones and level them out. The turkeys were here this morning eating the grass. Watching the babies run around and mom keeping them in control by a chirp. It’s amazing to see them thinking. That’s one thing I really noticed about all the wildlife is their ability to think.

This summer has been having it’s share of days over one hundred. Those days below one hundred like in the nineties isn’t much better, they really suck the life out of you. Helps add to my depression.

Have some new software from Nero to make videos and recode video to make DVD’s and Blu-ray discs. I need to get some MDisc discs to archive my photos and videos. They say, Write once read forever.

I have to wonder why some people make it while some don’t. Some people make all the right moves but don’t make it but then there it people who take short cuts and cheat and seem to make it. I just don’t understand what is fair. Why the cheaters tend to win. Why do mooches win?

I have to stop giving in to my urge to smoke and be content with the electric cigarette. I don’t know why just holding the cigarette in my mouth even when it’s out I find pleasant. I need to break that habit. I’m just hating smoking. I hate that it’s so dirty. I am a none smoker and I’m stopping smoking!!!!

Have to rake up and cut down any of the left over dry grass and make compost piles. I’ve been hearing people talk like this winter will be another dry one. That’s going to be hard on the wildlife. Very high fire danger too.

Finding that I have a fear of death. I’m wondering about life after death. Wondering how all that works. How there has been these special moments where you feel some contact from life after death. A soul reaching out and touching you. I know or feel there is a higher power and I’m not it. Just some trust I have developed over the years. It’s nice to know that my atoms will go on after I’m dead. I don’t know what that means for my soul or the part of me that’s me and where that goes. Being reincarnated is one thought. It would be nice to come back and try this thing we call life over again. See if I can get it right. Right now I feel like a victim again. Where others took advantage of me and I lost out. I guess I’m seeking help and direction right now in my life.

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